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I love that I am able to get assignments done at work.

Doing my readings and write ups.

FUCK. Every time I think about my professor I get really angry inside and it makes me want to cry, because he’s a ughhhhhhhh. The things he’ll do to be right and justify the white hetero-cis- patriarchal power trip he’s on. Saying that I have not done the assignment like he asked when he himself saw the source materials I was working from- and even alluded to them in a discussion. Then saying “If you don’t want to be here leave” for no reason!!!!!* Ay!!!!!!! it hurts!!!! because it feels like I can’t do anything. and he sits there an smiles and ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….. trying to forgive- but I shouldn’t feel forced (but then it’s like what options do I have when I need the class to graduate/be a full time student. and it’s this late in the semester to switch classes?) to go back into that violent situation, interact with him, and ask for advice, mentorship, learn from him when his methods have proven and manifested in a violent way that is rehashing a lot of my past traumas, PTSD, anxiety.

Literally no reason I was sitting there with my book open, pen in hand and was told to leave. 


I need to let go because this is poison in my veins….



Reminded that he stands for a larger system in place…


I’m not in school to be lighitimized by a white cis fucking violator
of space- dictator of thoughts, ideas, and methods, and destructor of creativity.

No it isn’t art school to erase someone’s fucking culture, voice, and vision.

Fucking moron.

Who can’t do or teach. You just mad and sour because your students probably producing work that you in your toxic way of being compare yourself to and feel is better than what you’ve been producing following the model. 

Learn that if you expect and are in a public sector- and want students to learn and be open to you - they must respect you. NO ONE IS GOING TO RESPECT YOU IF YOU DON’T EVEN AT THE VERY LEAST LISTEN AND CULTIVATE THEIR THOUGHT PROCESS as a pose to saying “it’s wrong”.


Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Pinche guey.


(all the things I wanted to say but didn’t- as I decided to stay calm)

I’m just too all types of done with them. 

This isn’t a rant - this is real life. it may be funny and “informal” but if I didn’t write it like this (as it needs to calm out) it’d sit in my body and spirit and create more damage than it already has.

****PS when you see injustices being done stand up for people. NO ONE fucking said anything. NO ONE ASKED ANYTHING. People sat there hella complacent. This is how violence continues.



The disconnect between the screen and physical real time life.

Love is infinite.

Hocus Pocas , chocolate Abuelita, gansito, and a bath…? I think yes.

Love isn’t about control. Renouncing notions of having control - control(.).

Floating.

Floating.

So tired of peoples injustices and then even more so when the blame is put on the victim- when the victim is made to feel like they were/are at fault.

Breathe. Document. Let go.

So tired of peoples injustices and then even more so when the blame is put on the victim- when the victim is made to feel like they were/are at fault.

Breathe. Document. Let go.

No longer 

"Looking for a way out"

LFCV 2014.

No longer

"Looking for a way out"

LFCV 2014.