Androgyny. Then he created man from his own image.

Don’t Give Up.

I saw this image and it made me think.

of.-The story of the little boy who’s dreams were broken down. Who’s dreams went no further than what tomorrow would bring. Who quickly learned that the world was a cruel place to /for people like him. That being the way he was, was grounds enough to be beat. Who’s name was replaced with ‘FAG’ & ‘PUTO’. Who grew up believing that he was worth little to nothing, that his presence in this world did not matter. That people like him did not succeed. That ‘wetbacks’ were the cockroaches of society… 

This boy who would grow up to say ‘fuck you’ to society. Who proved everyone wrong. Who graduated and delivered his valedictorian and student body president speech in drag. Who is working against every force against him. 

The world is a cruel place, but know that you can succeed. That there is a place for you in this world. That there are people working to make those places exist..people like me. Do not give up. Stay strong. I know things get hard and sometimes suicide might seem like the best way out-but it isn’t. I am here- I am willing to put myself out there so that you can see that THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE US WHO ARE SUCCEEDING-. I was born in Mexico, in a single parent home- grew up being the “puto”… My mother’s disapproval lead me to make many crazy decisions. I thought there was no way out. I thought that the pain I was feeling would last forever. I almost committed suicide. I struggled with my gender and sex. I don’t have all the answers, but my experiences give me a different insight into what it means to be a queer latino. I am here. I will write my story-for you to read… I will be honest and put my thoughts and experiences in public for you to read. I am not ashamed of the things that I’ve done and thought because these make me who I am today, but most importantly I want to put these out in public so that individuals who might find themselves in a similar situation to mine know that they are not alone. 

I am here for you.

Talk to me.

Write me.

Ask me questions.

I am here for YOU. Me being at UC Berkeley is not for me but for you.
KNOW THAT YOU CAN SUCCEED.

I AM HERE TO WRITE OUR STORIES.
STORIES THAT ARE UNTOLD.

OUR EXPERIENCES SHOULD NOT GO UNTOLD.

WE ARE STRONG-YOU ARE STRONG!
BELIEVE IT!


- I am evidence that there is a place for you…for us- out there. That you are NOT ALONE. That you are not illegitimate. THAT YOUR STORY MATTERS.

-Luis [LOUIE] Fernando Camarillo

 

My Instagram: LouieSun

the fact that our bodies can make us money

that someone’s desire to feel us

smell us

taste us

hear us

is enough to set them off
just the mere thought of being able to do so

without actually touching, smelling, tasting, or hearing.. 

is quite interesting.

what our minds do with the images in front of us..

where your mind will take these images…
what they will make you feel…

do…

 

OPTIONS. (Diary Entry ).

I just stumbled upon some girls’ profiles. These girls were my “backup” when I was going to “get down”. See now that I look back I can’t help but smile at the immature boy I was, but then I think ‘is the fact that I can smile a luxury?’. See, while all of this seems all too pointless, for these girls… it was their lives. This is what they did and do till this day. 
I always knew, even though I didn’t know then what would become of me and where I would be now, there’s a part of me that knows that I understood that that was not what my life would be, that I was going to get out. I knew I wasn’t going to be a statistic drop out. I knew that I wasn’t going to fall to drugs too young to even finish high school. I knew that I was not going to be in prison more times than I was old by the time I was in my early 20s. There was a part of me that knew that this was my life then, but wasn’t going to be my life forever.

Now that I am here, I think about all the people, programs, and resources that helped me get out of the path that was so beautifully carved for me by the government. See, this system is in place so that minorities like myself fail. So that minorities like myself live in shitty neighborhoods due to the exploitation of our undocumented parents, go to shitty schools that lack founding, fall to the drug trade world in order to help our parent’s make ends meet. 

And so I write this as a statement, saying that NO I WILL NOT FORGET. THAT IF EVEN BY SOME MIRACLE I HIT THE ‘TOP’ I WILL NOT FORGET WHERE I CAME FROM. THE FACES I SAW CRUMBLE AND DETERIORATE DUE TO GANG VIOLENCE. THE BLOOD I SAW ON THE FLOOR RUNNING DOWN THE PAVEMENT. THE MOB OF PEOPLE RUNING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF THE BLUE AND RED FLASHING LIGHTS. THIS IS A PART OF ME, AND WHILE I WAS ABLE TO GET OUT, OTHERS AREN’T. IT IS MY DUTY TO GO BACK AND HELP, SO THAT MORE KIDS HAVE OPTIONS. 

OPTIONS. OPTIONS. OPTIONS.

SOMETHING A LOT OF KIDS THINK THEY DON’T HAVE.

… BECAUSE THE SYSTEM HAS HELPED THEM FEEL THIS WAY.
…..HAS MADE THEM BELIEVE THAT FOR THEM, IT’S EITHER MCDONALDS, DRUGS, OR PRISON. 

a timeline of the past year of my life. the question that keeps coming up, 'Who am I?'

This has brought upon many questions.

This year has been a crazy one..

The oppression of my masculine and feminine have and still bother me..

It’s hard. 

shower.

The new do.

I thought I was taking a picture when…..